The light at the end of the tunnel is getting dimmer

5/20
The results are in..... drumroll please.... Zilch, nadda, nothing, negative! The hurt is coming in waves. I'm trying to keep busy with work and I can't put my finger on what exactly I'm sad about. Is it because of how much I have put into this both physically and emotionally? Is it because I'm not pregnant and moving into the place I expected to be by now? Is it because my Dr. now wants to schedule another sono-hystogram and there may be something wrong? Or is it because I have to sit out next month due to a business trip? Is this ever going to work? I will be very honest; I didn't think it would take this long. I thought my body was fine and would know what to do because its done it before. Now I sit, 4 months after our first attempt and no closer to being pregnant or having any answers as to why its not working.

I think its all of these things. Usually I can plan for my next cycle and that helps me feel like I'm doing something but this month I have to sit out so there is nothing to plan. I feel like I'm getting further away rather then closer to........ I'm losing hope.