Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The light at the end of the tunnel is getting dimmer

The results are in..... drumroll please.... Zilch, nadda, nothing, negative! The hurt is coming in waves. I'm trying to keep busy with work and I can't put my finger on what exactly I'm sad about. Is it because of how much I have put into this both physically and emotionally? Is it because I'm not pregnant and moving into the place I expected to be by now? Is it because my Dr. now wants to schedule another sono-hystogram and there may be something wrong? Or is it because I have to sit out next month due to a business trip? Is this ever going to work? I will be very honest; I didn't think it would take this long. I thought my body was fine and would know what to do because its done it before. Now I sit, 4 months after our first attempt and no closer to being pregnant or having any answers as to why its not working.

I think its all of these things. Usually I can plan for my next cycle and that helps me feel like I'm doing something but this month I have to sit out so there is nothing to plan. I feel like I'm getting further away rather then closer to........ I'm losing hope.

No comments:

Post a Comment